If I Could Prove That I Never Touched My Balls
As a young boy growing up in a small town, I was always the odd one out. I didn’t play sports, I wasn’t interested in girls, and I never seemed to fit in. The other boys would make fun of me, calling me names like “queer” and “faggot.” I was so ashamed of who I was that I started to withdraw from the world. I spent most of my time alone, reading books and playing video games.
One day, when I was 12 years old, I was playing in the park when a group of older boys started to pick on me. They called me names and pushed me around. I was so scared that I started to cry. As I sat there on the ground, sobbing, one of the boys came up to me and said, “If you could prove that you never touched your balls, we’d leave you alone.” I was so desperate to be accepted that I agreed.
The Vow
I immediately ran home and found a Bible. I put my hand on the Bible and swore that I had never touched myself. The boys were satisfied with my oath, and they left me alone.
I was relieved to have the bullying stop, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I had done something wrong. I had lied to God, and I was afraid that I would be punished. I spent the next few years living in fear, waiting for the day when my punishment would come.
The Secret
As I got older, I started to realize that I wasn’t the only one who had made this vow. I met other gay men who had also sworn off masturbation in order to fit in. It was a way of proving our masculinity, a way of showing the world that we were not like the other “fags.”
But the secret was eating away at us. We were living in constant fear of being found out. We were afraid of what our families and friends would think of us. And we were afraid of what God would do to us.
The Breaking Point
I finally reached my breaking point when I was 25 years old. I had been living with the secret for so long that I was starting to lose my mind. I was having nightmares, I was losing my job, and I was drinking heavily. I knew that I couldn’t keep living this way.
One day, I went to see a therapist. I told her about the vow I had made, and I told her about the secret I had been keeping. She listened patiently to my story, and then she said something that changed my life.
The Truth
“You are not alone,” she said. “There are millions of gay men who have made the same vow. And you know what? It’s not a sin. It’s not a crime. It’s just a way of coping with a world that doesn’t understand you.”
I was so relieved to hear those words. I had been carrying around this secret for so long, and it was finally lifted. I realized that I was not the only one who had struggled with this issue. And I realized that I was not going to be punished for it.
The Healing
I started to see a therapist regularly, and I started to work on healing the wounds of my past. I learned to accept myself for who I am, and I learned to forgive myself for the things I had done.
It wasn’t easy, but I eventually came to a place of peace. I am now a happy and healthy gay man, and I am proud of who I am.
FAQ
Q: Is it a sin to touch yourself?
A: No, it is not a sin to touch yourself. Masturbation is a normal and healthy way to explore your sexuality.
Q: Why do some people make a vow to never touch themselves?
A: Some people make a vow to never touch themselves because they believe it is a sin or because they are afraid of being gay. However, there is no shame in being gay, and masturbation is not a sin.
Q: What are the consequences of making a vow to never touch yourself?
A: Making a vow to never touch yourself can lead to feelings of shame, guilt, and anxiety. It can also lead to sexual problems, such as erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation.
Q: How can I break a vow to never touch myself?
A: If you have made a vow to never touch yourself, it is important to talk to a therapist or counselor. They can help you to understand why you made the vow and to develop a plan for breaking it.
Conclusion
I hope that my story will help others who are struggling with the same issue. You are not alone. There are millions of people who have made the same vow, and you can break free from it. You can be happy and healthy, and you can be proud of who you are.
Are you interested in learning more about the topic of breaking a vow to never touch yourself? If so, please leave a comment below and I will be happy to provide you with more information.
